What do I do?

Hey,


Two years ago i met my partner during my time coaching her son at my football team and things got flirty fairly quickly. This soon led to us starting a full fledged affair.
I was engaged and she was married, after a few months she fell pregnant and things took a turn. we continued the affair until i finally ended my relationship however i did do things i shouldn't have been doing (i cheated) but she is still living with her husband two years later.
She tells me he knows that im my sons father but refused to leave the house etc, She cant get a house due to not working and she has 4 other children.
I was not put on the birth certificate as apparently i cant if she is still married.. (i dont know how true this is)
during these two years we have had fallings out and we do fight, i have made things difficult and do silly shit. but this situation is highky stressfull, any little thing is enough to push me over the edge. I have been in hospital after attempting to take my own life a few times.

im just after peoples thoughts on what do i do?
do i walk away, try and make a relationship with my son i can only see if she is there or when he is home so she can leave the house.
I do truly love her, but i make silly decisions and cause friction, but this mental health is having a massive effect.
i live on my own, she lives with her husband and the 5 children. i dont want to force her to be homless, but in two years, she hasnt filed for divorce, havnt had a chance of a property big enough and i have lost the support of my family as they dint agree with her living arrangment, i feel totally isolated and alone.