We're still trying to repair our marriage 3 years later

My wife of 12 years, had an affair with her boss which lasted 8 months, in 2018. We're still trying to repair our marriage 3 years later. Is there any hope when she has refused counselling that I arranged, still cites how bad a partner I was, as a reason for her cheating, has hidden mobile phone accounts from me etc. Most recently (a few weeks ago) was invited to a party that her AP was attending and refused to speak to the guy who was arranging it, to tell him that it was not appropriate for him to invite them both to the party. I requested that she speak to him but she flatly refused, saying it was ridiculous. The guy arranging the party was aware of the affair.