Loneliness

I am married to a man who is totally enmeshed with his Mum. She is a narcissist. I have been married for 40 years. I am always second best to her. He always puts her first. He spends every Saturday with her. I dread weekends, always thinking when the kids left home we would have a life together. Sadly, not to be. I feel extremely resentful and depressed. All of my friends have moved away. We do not even have a shopping centre for me to go at weekends and I live in a town! I am aiming to start drinking & have asked the universe to die. I feel invisible.