Is he being completely appropriate and professional ?

I work for a large company , and have recently started a more senior role. A former colleague from my previous role who is around 20 years older than me and has previously held a very high position, is very knowledgable and experienced in our field has become a real mentor to me. He helps in things I’m doing , always gives good advice and listens . I message him and we meet up every few weeks just Briefly to discuss current work issues . I really am attracted to him , he is married. When we are together he seems pleased to see me and often compliments me saying I’m doing a great job etc. he isn’t overly flirty but always agrees to meet and he also always is there for me when I need him to look over a document or give advice . What is going on here , and is it likely he knows I feel something ?

When we meet we are quite flirty , We text a time to meet and then he finds us an empty room so we can talk in private. I feel it more then rather than through his messages which tend to be quite to the point and work related. he is trying to help me with work issues and mentor me , but he does ask about my home life and says my partner is lucky to have me. I guess I am wondering that he must realise on some level I have a crush , so why isn’t he suggesting I get help elsewhere ? He says things like where he will be at what time and that he is happy to discuss things etc, for example first thing on Monday he has said he will be in at 8ish … I am going to try and stay away and perhaps just blank him now as this is just too hard.


I have asked him multiple times if he is fed up of helping with the massive work issues I am facing , he always says no pleasure to help - happy to support etc . He also sometimes jokes about things in a sexist kind of way and says that the issues at work are because too many women are working together - we laugh about it and I call him sexist - he says he will be careful what he says and laughs…he also says things like ‘now you are a woman who wears dresses’ it’s all a bit odd… he has told me a few personal things about when his daughter was unwell a while back. He also said it’s hard when things are s*** at home and s*** at work etc. I said maybe I can repay the favour one day by listening to his problems and he replied with a thumbs up.


we also had a works party a few months back , at which he literally Stayed well away to the point he almost blanked me whilst he was with his wife - this was really upsetting as we would always normally chat whilst at work . He is being professional , but he is also encouraging us to meet etc when he must realise I have feelings as I think some things I’ve messaged him it would be pretty obvious .


is he being completely appropriate and professional ? He certainly doesn’t have little powwows with other people of my grade in our place of work. He literally just meets me . Last time we met, he gave me a compliment amd I went bright red , he seems to find that funny. He said when someone compliments you , you either say thank you or disagree. I do feel he is getting some small kick out of this and it is really upsetting me now . I wish I knew if he actually is genuinely trying to be kind by helping me at work or if he feels something more. In our roles , there is no real need for us to ever meet at all. His previous role very high up the chain means he is very knowledgeable and has years of experience that I obviously benefit from now.