I don't understand it. What do I do?

Hey.

Two months ago I met a guy. Before we met, we send each other whats app messages, we had a great click. After about a week we had our first date; we had some dinner and wine. We had a great time together. He tried to make many moves, but I didn't go into them.

Afterwards I just went to my home and he went to his home. On the way home he called me: this was great, I'd like to cook for you in two days. He also said I could spend the night if I wanted (was a one hour drive to his place). I wanted to have dinner with him, but thanked him for the sleep over. This felt too intimate for me on a second date.

The day arrived where he would cook for me. So he did. It was really great and from the moment I saw him it felt good... but that second night he seduced me and (after a long time cuddling and everything) we ended up in his bed. It felt great, but still I felt the need to go home.... he didn't. He really wanted me to stay for the night. Say I'm stupid, but I did and it felt really good. The next morning I left. From then on it all went superfast. Mind you: on his initiative.

The next weekend he would come to my place on Friday and maybe spend the night. This felt good and eventually he stayed (on his initiative) the whole weekend. He left monday afternoon. 2 days later he wanted to cook for me again. I went to his place... we had a great time again and he even came with youth stories and photo albums and everything. He wasn't even holding back in making plans for the summer together: he just likes me. We went to tennis together, where he goes for years already.... he introduced me to his neighbor and wanted to be 'exclusive' from day 1. He wanted many things... go out with me. To be there on a pokernight he was organizing, say hi at his job... etc.

Now that I write this down... it really don't understand it, but after 1 month it was suddenly all over and he said he didn't feel in love. It was like a slap in my face and for him it was also emotional. He wanted me to stay in his life... but as 'good friends'. This is impossible for me, I have feelings for him. A lot of tears later we are still in contact. He told me many times that for him it was very intense too, that he had a great time with me, that he is attracted to me etc. The only thing that's missing... are the butterflies. We didn't see each other for two weeks now, my sadness stays and he says he misses me too and thinks a lot about me. He met a girl he will have a date with tomorrow.

We were supposed to have a drink together on friday 'as friends'... so I tolf him it hurts me that he has a date... but that he should do what feels good for him, because I want him to be happy. An hour after I said this, he text me that he would like to see me. That it also hurt him to have this date,,, and he cancelled it. We also called the whole night and it felt good. He still keeps some distance, but says he really wants to see me. Yesterday after the long phonecall he said that he was sure he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands off me if I would have been with him and that he had some butterflies with that intimate sharing...

This morning I woke up with a soar throat and he immediately offers to take care of me and bring some icecream. As 'friends'/ Also not unimportant is that he, during these two weeks we didn't meet... shared many times that I am always welcome to drop by whenever I want. Also that he is not in love, but that that doesn't mean that I cannot drop by. Because he says I am 'fucking perfect'.....

I don't understand it at all. Now we agreed to meet next week to have a drink on neutral ground (not at somebody's place, because he doesn't want to feel tempted to have sex). He is very open to this and is already talking about meeting like this more often and maybe even sleep together (without sex).

I also have the feeling that he wants to feel the fairytale butterflies.... that I think only exist when you are 16. When you meet your very first love... everything is perfect (he agrees). He says that when he looks at the future he sees us as good friends OR partners. I have the feeling right now that I shouldn't let him go... he feels so safe.. so familiar and good for me because I don't mind that my belly isn't turning around when I see him. For me it's fine that it is not the love that I felt when I was 12... not being able to eat....

Maybe for an outsider it is more clear what is happening. Because I don't understand it at all and would like to know your opinion. Should I run away because he is playing me... or is this a man with fear of commitment and panics. Or do you think something else?