He was on a string of infidelities

I'm sure my story is just a tiny drop in an ocean of stories, but today I can only hope for a small respite from my depression.

It's been almost five years since I caught my husband of twelve cheating on me with a woman more than a decade my junior. Why does her age matter? It just made the sting more painful as I took this as a great insult. We were very young when we married, and I am still young even by appearance, at that time anyway. Little did I know, he was on a string of infidelities and attempts at getting into other girls' pants. I only caught on because he started to have feelings for this one particular girl. He couldn't stop himself from seeing her - looking for fights and arguments just so he could storm off and "let off steam" for a night.

As I said it has been almost five years since I discovered, and he has made drastic changes for the better. An entirely changed man, to be honest. It's just this gnawing feeling that in the whole time that we have been together, he was constantly cheating on me and I have wasted many years of my life. Truly the best years of me. And why can't I leave despite my pains and disappointments? I live in a third-world country with practically no options. I can only dream of having even just a few opportunities for financial independence and a chance at renewing my confidence in myself. I literally can't afford to start over. I know I owe my children that, I have two, a boy and a girl. And I want them to see their mom fight for them as well.

So I just have a few words for the ones out there who have the opportunities to step back, take some time for themselves, and honor themselves. Especially if you are a parent, take those chances and live the life you always wanted. And even if you still don't know what that is, take the time to figure it out. You are enough, and if another partner is in the cards for you, then when you are whole they will come along at the perfect time.