Am tired of the mind games

I recently found out that my husband is having an affair on and off for a year. It was a work colleague whom I have met before.

We are not intimate regularly as I found out I was going through menopause and was also struggling to take care of my 6yo and the house without any help from him or family members.

My husband has depression and was sexually abused by his sister when he was 12. He is seeing a psychologist for this after his breakdown in Feb which I felt was due to AP going back to her ex. Then she felt her ex and went on to have a full fledge relationship with him.

When I first found , he said he wanted to be with me and that he felt the feelings for the AP is not love but because he was lonely and vulnerable. He didn’t make a clean break from the affair partner (AP) then a week later he said he had no feelings for me. I learnt that it was because the affair partner (AP) was still in contact with him. I move out to my in laws for a week and he said he wanted to make things work.

AP then have him a bracelet which he forgot to take off when he came home. I told him how I was struggling these past 6 years and he went out with the car saying he wants to end his life. I had to call the Police to search for him.

Now he says he wants to be with me. I have approached separation twice but each time he said no and to focus on us and we will get through this. I know that they are still texting everyday and also friends on social media.

I’m very lost and confused to why does he still has to keep in touch with the AP while trying to work on us. Am tired of the mind games that the AP is playing with me and manipulating his thoughts.