Effects of relating with a borderliner
I have had a very bad relationship of about 10 years. I was together with a man that had a borderline personality. He had manic depressed moods. Anybody who knows a little bit about this will probably understand that it was exhausting for me. He sucked the life out of me, both psychic and emotional.
After this experience I didn't dare to go into a relationship for a long time. Now, since one and a half years, I am relating with a man again, but the fear that it will again pull me down is still very present in me.
Often I just don't belief that my boyfriend loves me. My ex also loved me, but his illness left its traces in me. So love has become something I cannot trust. This idea keeps ruling me. Together with a therapist, I explained my boyfriend what it means to have a relationship with someone who has borderline. He understands it better now, but the fear keeps coming back.
Mainly doubt about the relationship, wanting to break up or make a fight to test if he will stay. Those are my ways to deal with it, but of course they don't work. It has to be perfect, he has to meet up to many expectations. Otherwise I fear it will be at my expense.
I made an appointment with a therapist again, because it keeps coming back. And I keep having fear and the need to send him away or break up with him.
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