Jealousy in relationship - Tips
Tips for coping with jealousy in relationships
Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with jealousy in your relationship?
This forum is a great place to:
- explore several tips.
- respond to tips / share your experience.
- share the tips that work for you.
What's your tip how to deal with jealousy in your relationship?
Tip 2 - See things in perspective and work on your self esteem
See things in perspective and work on your self esteem
Nobody can be the smartest, funniest, brightest, most beautiful. Also you not. Don't expect that from yourself.
You may not be the smartest, funniest, brightest, most beautiful in the world, but you are unique and have plenty of qualities. You are definitely worth it.
Tip 3 - Jealous partner? Keep doing your things
When your partner is jealous, it is important that you just keep doing your things. As long as you know it's fine, you have to keep doing it, so that the other one gets the chance to learn to trust.
You can adapt yourself a bit as long as that's fine for you, but it's never a good idea to skip social activities because your partner cannot handle it.
Tip 4 - Make sure to heal old wounds
Sometimes jealousy has to do with experiences from previous relations. Your current partners behavior or a situation might remind you of something that happened in the past that has hurt you. Your brain then wants to protect you for a repetition and rings the 'alarm bell': jealousy.
Is this the case for you? Make sure to heal old wounds, so that they do not influence your current relationship.
Tip 5 - Find a relationship counsellor
Are your suffering from jealousy in your relationship? Could you use some support?
A relationship counsellor can help you.
Tip 7 - For men: your wife remembers e-ve-ry-thing ;-)
It is never a good idea to tell your wife about another beautiful woman. You can see beautiful women of course, but talk about that with your friends.
Even when you think that your partner should be your best friend and that you should be able to tell her everything. You can tell her, but don't expect that it will not have any consequences (on the long run, because she remembers everything ;-) )
Tip 8 - Take responsibility for your feelings
When there is jealousy, it is important to be open to your partner about this. When you are the one feeling jealous, express it in the I-form. Say "I feel jealous now". Take responsibility for your feelings.
When you fight a lot about text messages, emails etc. it often happens that the other one wants to avoid the 'fuss' and starts to do things secretly of will hide it for you. That is of course only making it worse!
Express that the other should just keep on doing his or her own things.
Tip 9 - Look at your desires
When you know what you are jealous of, you know what your desire is.
What do you long for?
Tip 10 - Check for yourself: jealousy or "gut feeling"?
Jealousy or 'gut feeling'? Sometimes your partner may think you behave jealous while there is no reason to. It's an art to find out if that's true.
Are you the jealous type (insecure, jealous without a reason, turned out to be fine other times etc?) or do you have a good instinct and may there be fire where there is smoke?
Keep track off when you feel jealous; what happens exactly, and check several times if there is really nothing happening. When you see after three times that nothing has happened to cause your jealousy, then work on your insecurity and self esteem.
Tip 12 - You can feel the feeling, but do not have to act on it.
The feeling of jealousy or any other feelings is not the problem, the real trouble starts when you start acting on that jealousy and let it consume you. You can feel the feeling, but do not have to act on it.
So, the next time you feel jealous, try to accept the feelings and work on changing how you react. Take the time you need to calm down, and then act from a place of calm instead of from a place of emotional distress.
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Professional yet informal and effective advice and pointers
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