Intimacy problems - Tips

Intimacy problems can have many reasons. A small step in the right direction is to create time to spend together. You can add this to your shared calendar. Make time for a conversation, put your phone aside for a while, say no to friends or family and consciously invest in your relationship.

When partners become parents for the first time, a lot is changing. Not only a small human being is born that needs your attention and energy 24 hours a day, but also physically a lot has changed in a short time.

Both partners may have become shy in taking the initiative for sex again. Sometimes it helps to book one night in a hotel and drop the role of being a father and mother for a while.

Are your suffering from intimacy problems? Could you use some support?

A relationship counsellor can help you.

For many people it helps to write down and share their story with others. You can share your story on the intimacy-peer-support-forum on this website.

Sue Johnson gives a loving mirror to people that encounter problems or fear in intimacy. Are you curious what your problems are in intimacy?

And do you want to solve this yourself in stead of keeping your (future) partner at a distance with the wall you have build around yourself? Read "Hold me tight" by Sue Johnson. She knows how to explain this complicated matter.

Intimacy problems are often complex and goes back to your past and early adapted behavior.

For many people with children and a job, it is not always easy to find time for sex. But does sex really always have to be fantastic and last for hours?

Be creative and find 'in between' time for a quicky. Late at night you will often be tired, so try for example in the morning when you take a shower, or during the afternoon sleep of your baby.

People that are often occupied with their smartphone, often have more trouble in their relating then people who don't.

New research shows that when somebody is constantly checking his/her phone while having a conversation, the feeling of a connection is immediately gone.

To avoid this, you can make 'phone free' hours during the day, for example during dinner or after 10 o'clock in the night. When you do, really put your phone out of reach and sight!

When intimacy problems are based on a mental or emotional level, we as relationship therapists can support you with that.

When the problem is more physical, I recommend to go to your GP or to a Sexologist. This could be good, for example when you have dysfunctions on a body level or problems with your erection.