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Intimacy problems - Tips


Tips for intimacy problems

Would you like some tips and advice how to deal with intimacy problems?

This forum is a great place to:

 

  • explore several tips.
  • share the tips that work for you.

 

What's your tip how to deal with intimacy problems?

Overview of tips




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All tips


Tip 1 - Spend quality time together

Intimacy problems can have many reasons. A small step in the right direction is to create time to spend together. You can add this to your shared calendar. Make time for a conversation, put your phone aside for a while, say no to friends or family and consciously invest in your relationship.


Therapycouples

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Tip 2 - Drop for a while the father and mother role

When partners become parents for the first time, a lot is changing. Not only a small human being is born that needs your attention and energy 24 hours a day, but also physically a lot has changed in a short time.

Both partners may have become shy in taking the initiative for sex again. Sometimes it helps to book one night in a hotel and drop the role of being a father and mother for a while.


Monique

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Tip 3 - Find a relationship counsellor

Are your suffering from intimacy problems? Could you use some support?

A relationship counsellor can help you.


Therapycouples

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Tip 4 - Share your story

For many people it helps to write down and share their story with others. You can share your story on the intimacy-peer-support-forum on this website.


Therapycouples

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Tip 5 - Hold me tight & relation therapy

Sue Johnson gives a loving mirror to people that encounter problems or fear in intimacy. Are you curious what your problems are in intimacy?

And do you want to solve this yourself in stead of keeping your (future) partner at a distance with the wall you have build around yourself? Read "Hold me tight" by Sue Johnson. She knows how to explain this complicated matter.

Intimacy problems are often complex and goes back to your past and early adapted behavior.


Mirella

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Tip 6 - Be creative

For many people with children and a job, it is not always easy to find time for sex. But does sex really always have to be fantastic and last for hours?

Be creative and find 'in between' time for a quicky. Late at night you will often be tired, so try for example in the morning when you take a shower, or during the afternoon sleep of your baby.


Be creative

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Tip 7 - Have 'phone free' hours

People that are often occupied with their smartphone, often have more trouble in their relating then people who don't.

New research shows that when somebody is constantly checking his/her phone while having a conversation, the feeling of a connection is immediately gone.

To avoid this, you can make 'phone free' hours during the day, for example during dinner or after 10 o'clock in the night. When you do, really put your phone out of reach and sight!


Mirjam

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Tip 8 - Sexual problems? Consider a therapist or GP.

When intimacy problems are based on a mental or emotional level, we as relationship therapists can support you with that.

When the problem is more physical, I recommend to go to your GP or to a Sexologist. This could be good, for example when you have dysfunctions on a body level or problems with your erection.


Nicolette

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Tip 9 - Consider a Qualified Psychosexual Therapist

Sexual problems? Consider a Qualified Psychosexual Therapist unless the problem is caused by physical health issues. Don't delay problem usually doesn't disappear by itself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. In our society, there is no good quality or systematic schooling when it comes to sex. A big part of this highly specialized form of therapy is providing education, guidance, and discovery of the sex that is right for you and your partner.


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