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Relationship Counsellor and Psychotherapist - Cranleigh - Kate
Relationship Counselling Cranleigh
Chilton Close
GU6 8HB Cranleigh
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Kate | Relationship Counsellor and Psychotherapist

Relationship Counselling Cranleigh

**Update 4 July 2024**

Weekly appointment time available:-

Wednesday 3pm. 

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

'We are born in relationship and die in relationship'. Most of our challenges will be because we are in relationship with ourselves and others. We adapt to fit our family of origin / social system and dependent on what skills we gain in that family, and in the environments around us, our attachment style, coping strategies and defenses are learnt. These patterns lead to how we feel IN relationship, i.e. joy, security, fear, abandonment, alone, etc. All this then plays out in how we live, i.e. avoidant, anxious or secure.

Chances are you feel that you are living life in a problematic way rather than in a fulfilled way.  This is not your fault as it is about conditioning. Sometimes, like a washing machine, we need to empty the load, take a look at what is problematic, and put in a lighter load. 

Couples / twos counselling and psychotherapy offers a way to do this. We look at what is problematic for each of you now; what skills you are both utilising well and what you may need to update on.  Values sometimes can be in conflict as we tend to learn these in families of origin and don't think to re-evaluate when we get in new relationships, i.e. being over responsible, feeling you have to be kinder to others than yourself, having to be strong and that being emotional is weak, etc. Chances are these 'adaptions' no longer serve you and are causing conflict within, and within your relationships. 

Couple counselling and psychotherapy helps you both start to appreciate one another for who you are today with 'I am ok, you are ok'.

Couples counselling is all about two... two needs, two desires, two wants, etc.  so we are always looking at the impact of each person on the relationship built.  What tends to happen is we attract people that are familiar and so you will probably be in a relationship with someone whose unmet needs are similiar to yours, i.e. to be heard, be seen, be validated, not be abandoned/rejected, etc. yet you will come into the relationship with very different surface behaviours, e.g. one may be anxious and one avoidant. 

The easiest way to describe this is one of you may tend to have an crocodile (feels isolated, snap, snap, goes for attention) and the other a tortoise (pulls head in and withdraws) in a relationship which can cause conflict and isolation as each fears rejection/abandoment and being on their own.  So, each tries to hold onto the other in ways that are ineffective (yet learnt!) which can cause loss, isolation, pain and despair. 

In couples counselling we will look at what your symptoms are together, i.e. use of excessive alcohol, workaholic, continually feeling disappointed, unfulfilled, etc,. to get to the root cause of your issues. 

I firmly believe, what started as love can be love again if you both do the work, and take personal responsibility, rather than blaming the other. After all, blame is just avoiding your pain and gets you no-where. Reminding here that part of the process of counselling is 'healing is feeling, and feeling is healing;.

So, if this sounds like the kind of couple / two therapy you want, which is non-blaming, non-judgemental and about looking at the impact of both of you on your relationship, then do get in contact.

Online therapy

Online couple therapy is very much the same as face to face.  However, you will need to self-regulate more and trust in each other as, during our call and when our call ends, the chances are you are sat in the same space together with the feelings that have come from the session. So it is about trusting the intention of you both; that you both want to heal. Prizing realness and honesty and knowing that, when the computer is turned off, you are left together having both been in the space to heal your relationship.

Qualifications and registrations

Qualifications

BACP Accredited Counsellor / Psychotherapist

BA (Hons) Degree Counselling - Greenwich University

FdSc Degree Integrative Counselling - Greenwich University

NCFE 3 - Counselling Skills Theory
NCFE 2 - Counselling (Helping) Skills
NCFE 1 - Interpersonal Skills

Additional Couple Qualifications

Advanced Certificate in Relationship Therapy - COSRT

Graduate of The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy Training under Ellyn Bader Ph.D. at The Couples Institute (integrating Attachment Theory, Differentiation Theory and Neuroscience)

Online Courses

How to Work Safely and Ethically with Online Clients
Moving Your Practice Online (Online Therapy Institute)
How to do Counselling Online: A Coronavirus Primer (Open University and BACP course)

Plus much more as I do Additional Training and Workshops on a monthly basis to keep my knowledge current.


Registrations

Specialisations

My specialisms are relationship, loss, bereavement, childhood complications and alcohol issues.

I have extensive training in all.

Most common issues I support people with:

Attachment issues, i.e. you each come at things differently (likely to be one anxious - needy greedy; and one avoidant - withdrawer).

Communication issues resulting in bickering, lack of understanding, and negative loop cycles where you can feel misunderstood and alone.

Lack of intimacy / sex life / desire.

Betrayals, affairs, infedility.

Unresolved past baggage, which can be pre your relationship or accumulated in your relationship.

Registered with

BACPLogo 111841417450

Fees

Initial Session:  I email you both an assessment which you complete and email back to me at least 48 hours before your initial session. The charge for this 60 minute session is £40 due to pre-assessment work.

This assessment is held in the here and now and gives you a chance to both meet me and see if I am the counsellor / relationship therapist for you.

Future couple / two sessions, whether online or face to face, are 60 minutes for £80.

(Note: this is 60 minutes and not 50 minutes)

Availability (Opening hours)

Monday 8am - 6pm
Tuesday 8am - 6pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 9am - 4.30pm
Friday Closed
Saturday Closed
Sunday Closed

Photos

Location


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