Tom | Couples Counsellor
Online Couples Counselling
✓ I also offer online therapy
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Online Couples Counselling
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My name is Tom, I am a qualified couples counsellor. I welcome both couples and individuals for counselling. I offer therapy sessions via Zoom or Skype, or by phone.
I qualified as a Counsellor in 2004 and began to see individuals to try and help them with various difficulties such as depression, anxiety, OCD, addiction, self esteem and lack of confidence, I realised that for most of us how we relate to others especially those important and close to us is a common factor in how content or not we feel. It seemed sensible when a couple asked me if I would see both of them to do some more training and say yes, since then I have helped many more couples with relationship issues.
I work with couples to help them understand what may be causing difficulties in their relationship, this is often connected to past experiences being replayed in some way. Blame seems so often to be a major factor in our isues with each other, it seems to be a very unfortunate human characteristic that as part of working out what is happening and why we also tend to try and find whose fault it is, and we are not so keen on it being ours!
This can easily become a habit which is very hard to break, but understanding this can make a huge difference to a relationship that may well seem to be beyond saving. Of course sometimes it may be that the relationship is not working and the difference are not resolvable, but maybe it's worth exploring this to make sure.
One thing I have found very helpful is to try and be understanding of each others faults and mistakes, for example when the other person forgets their bag in a restaurant this may be annoying if a another trip is needed, but being tolerant and forgiving will probaly make things easier, and should mean that when the situation is reversed the kindness is returned. This has the completely opposite effect than critisism and grumpiness in the first instance which is likely to be returned with interest when we transgress in a similar way, which we are very likely to do.. !
We live abroad but needed an English speaking couples therapist to understand the nuances of our mother tongue. We absolutely lucked out in finding Tom. His honesty was exactly what we needed to diffuse our stuck point. He gave us a lot to think about and discussion topics we could work on between appointments that were not burdensome. We never once felt therapised, more a meeting of minds finding real life solutions in a safe and supportive way. Months on, our relationship is still growing and strengthening in a way that's healthy, yes we have disagreements but they're not catatonic anymore!
We had a hippo in the house the other day! We are very grateful for that tip. All in all we're pretty good and I love how we communicate with one another and respect boundaries. Such a big difference X
If you would like to know more or book an appointment, please send me a message.
Zoom and Skype counselling
I had used Skype once or twice before 2019 which seemed to work, however with the covid pandemic and lockdowns, Zoom appeared and became an important way of people connecting when face to face meetings were so difficult. I was pleasantly surprised by how well it worked, and how convenient it is for many people, no travelling, easier for those with health, mobility or childcare issues, so I am very happy to offer therapy sessions via Zoom or Skype, or by phone.
The telephone is often forgotten in our modern world as a means of verbal communication, our phones do so much more now. I have found that some people prefer the distance and safety of phone sessions, especially when talking about very sensitive or painful stuff, I have found phone counselling different rather than inferior to face to face meetings, you can concentrate on just someones voice which is very powerful for both people. Of course couples counselling may be less suited to this.
Qualifications and registrations
- Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling 2003
- Bsc Anthropology 1983
- Member of British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) current
- ✓ Couples counselling
- ✓ Couples therapy
- ✓ Marriage counselling
- ✓ Online relationship counselling
- ✓ Relationship Counselling
Areas of counselling I can help with
- ✓ Adultery, affair, infidelity
- ✓ Autonomy in relationship
- ✓ Commitment phobia
- ✓ Communication problems
FeesFirst session £20
After this £40 per hour
Availability (Opening hours)
- ✓ United Kingdom
- ✓ (Online) Couples counselling
- ✓ Relationship counselling
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