Anjelika | BACP Accredited Counsellor and Relationship Therapist

Introduction

I specialise in relationship issues, loss and treatment of depression and anxiety, with options for both short-term solution-focused work and long-term therapy. Having supported hundreds of individuals while working for the NHS as a thearpist, I bring extensive experience.

 

I am originally from Latvia but have lived most of my life in the UK. I have worked in the NHS for 25 years in various roles which enabled me to develop the ability to connect with people from all walks of life, acquire advanced empathy, and effectively oversee teams of people in my senior roles. As a midwife, I supported families through life-changing experiences of childbirth, trauma and child loss. Presently, I work in the NHS as an oncology psychotherapist while maintaining a private practice. 

I have had personal experiences of trauma and loss going back three generations, and had to rebuild my life several times over through determination, therapy, and self-development, including couples therapy. What helped me is accepting that it is unavoidable that we will be disappointed and disappoint others. I learned to see my partner as an ally with whom we can grow and transcend our wounds. On average, each of us goes through three significant relationships through the course of life. We have a choice to do it with different partners or stay and reinvent our relationship. 

Couples therapy 

 If you are seeking couples therapy, the issues I address include:  

• conflict
• lack of support
• betrayal of trust and affairs
• relationship crises

• poor communication
• separation and endings
• unfulfilling relationship
• moving to mastery in a relationship where you can thrive

In couples therapy with me, you will have the opportunity to embark on a journey of personal growth by delving into learning about attachment styles, dysfunctional patterns and unconscious behaviours that impact your partner. The root cause of these unconscious defensive behaviours such as stonewalling, anxious rumination, fighting for your needs, angry escalation and avoidance, is childhood and relational traumas.

I have tools such as EMDR, parts work, and the develpmental model to help you to treat the trauma and  stop being as reactive and triggered as you are now. This exploration can lead to positive changes, allowing both partners to bring out the best in each other. Through coaching, you will be given tools to express your deepest emotions and advocate for yourself, and learn new ways to communicate. 

Through coaching and psychoeducation with assigned homework, we'll tackle your challenges and enable personal growth to support your relationship's development. Couples therapy will include: 

 

• assessment and goal setting when we will take time to reflect on your relationship and identify the key areas you would like to address in therapy
• diagnosing the developmental stage in a relationship where you are stuck and identifying the relationship type
• exploring how your past contributes to relationship problems
• coaching in communication skills
• addressing differences and unresolved conflicts

• working through relational and individual trauma
• learning how to tolerate the anxiety of conflict and difference
• learning how to self-soothe and stay in the window of tolerance
• identifying your primary needs and how they are met 
• developing vulnerability and intimacy 

I have many skills to support and help you have a more satisfying relationship where you can thrive. As a counsellor, I offer honesty and respect and promise to treat you in a kind, caring, and supportive environment, regardless of race, gender, age, religion, or sexual orientation.

A bit of inspiration to give you the flavour of the work:

 

"It might seem a lot easier to forgive someone if only he or she would show signs of changing. The paradox is that we are unlikely to see signs of change in others until we have forgiven them... There is a real joy to be found in setting things right, but that always involves changing oneself for the better first." (from Dr. Patrick Miller The Way of Forgiveness).