Stand up for yourself, don't put yourself down

Two months ago I found out that my husband has had a relationship with another woman for a year. I was bewilderd, this is not his style. I thought he had lost it completely.

In therapy I found out that I am always so much focused on other people, that I completely forget my own feelings and wishes. And that I "apologized" my husband for what he had done, because 'he's not like that'.

I felt disappointed in him, but I didn't realize that I was also very angry. Only when I started to feel that, I also showed him. Strange, but that helped.

Because I did not make him smaller, but gave him the responsibility for what he had done, I started to feel my anger and stand for my boundaries. And that created respect in my husband for me and eventually even more interest.

We started relationship therapy now. I don't know where it will lead to, but I do feel a lot better already.

Maybe this will help someone. Stand up for yourself, don't put yourself and your feelings down!