Why am I being so indecisive

I can't quite figure out why I'm being so indecisive...

I have been with my partner for 8 years, and from the very beginning, I have known that he has a drinking problem. But I have been kind of hopeful that one day he might change...

He is 53, and I'm 50. For the last 8 years we have been together, I have been supporting us. We live in a country where we don't speak their language well - he, almost none, and I am at a level I can communicate with locals even though it is not perfect. He doesn't think he will ever be able to speak the language, so he doesn't even try... and of course, he doesn't have a job. I work online, so I make living through freelancing. Financially it has been very difficult for me... trying to make ends meet by working long hours. Meanwhile, he receive about £200 a month from his mother for helping her with small jobs. He goes to see his mother every morning for 1 hour or so, and after that, he spends most of his time at the bar drinking. All the money he gets from his mother goes to the bar.

He thinks he is too old and can't get back to his old job in construction anymore even if he goes back to the UK. He is just waiting for his pension. He doesn't want to learn new skills or anything.

I have been feeling resentful... to be honest. And I can't see the future with him... Considering the way it has been, I will keep working in my old age, trying to support us while he is drunk spending money which we can't afford...

I feel I have to end this relationship. I own a house and have a job, so I know I can look after myself. But I'm having difficulty telling him that it's over. He loves me, that's without doubt, but not enough to make a change to his way of living. I have already told him that I am not willing to support us like I have done for the last 8 years. I love him, but not the way I used to. I care about him but my body gets tense when he tries to hold my hand or put his arm around me.

The only reason, I think, I haven't directly told him that our relationship is over is that I am worried what he is going to do... and I feel guilty for giving up on us and him. I am worried about things like how he could live, where he could live, how he would feel... But at the same time, I know I can't continue living like this... Why can't make the decision to end?