My wife moved out

My wife and I have been together for 14 years. We love each other very much. But I have had jealousy issues about her past for almost our entire relationship. I've punished her for things she did before we met. I know it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself.
We'd be fine for a few months then I'd bring it up again, she'd try to explain but it never made things better for me.

She's moved out a few weeks back and told me to get help, I've started therapy and have made lifestyle changes. I've had self-esteem and insecurity issues for many years which I've never faced until now. I was hopeful and making progress but it's too little too late for her. She's ended the relationship 3 weeks after moving out. I'm completely utterly devastated. I hate myself so deeply for what I've done to her and our marriage. It never had to be like this. I've been such a fool. I love her so deeply this pain is unbearable. Knowing it's my fault. I can't stand myself. I disgust myself for my actions.
I had hoped after so long together she'd at least let me really try to make changes. But it's over. I don't know how to carry on. I can't live with myself. I'm so consumed with sadness and self loathing. I don't want to carry on life without her she's my everything my world. I'm in such a deep abyss of sadness.
I asked her too give me time let me tackle my issues. I want to change be a better person. I can see what I did wrong. But it's over. I have no hope now.